doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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