i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
