you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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