Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
