me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
