Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
