Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
