Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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