I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
