Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
