Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
