I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
