My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
