I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
