Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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