There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
