4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
