Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
