I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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