Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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