It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
