Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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