i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude i'm inner monologue high
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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