alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
