remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
