oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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