somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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