I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
