We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
