i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
