well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
