My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
