I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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