Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
