At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
