question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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