i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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