You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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