this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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