she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
