I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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