My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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