Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
