IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
