is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
