mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
