cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
