After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
