I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is Oprah even human
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
