awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
